Friday, October 19, 2007

Things I'm struggling w/ this week.

"This week". Ha! That's funny!

1. Laziness - I decided weeks after Kirby was born that I could not take care of a 3 yr old, a newborn baby AND keep my house immaculate. So the house, rightfully so, got the short end of the stick. I let the upstairs, in particular, go. Well, now it's been 9 mos and I still have not dedicated any real amount of time to the intense disarray that is my second level. Sure, I have an excuse - the kids are certainly more important but, the truth of the matter is, I don't WANT to work up there. I have no motivation, no desire to get it taken care of. And not ALL of my time is spent w/ the kids. I am, afterall, finding time to blog on a regular basis. Shouldn't I be cleaning right now?

2. Envy - I have a friend whom I love dearly, but, dang, I really envy her life sometimes. She is just one of those who "seems" to have it all together. I'm happy to say that she trusts me enough to tell me the truth, that this isn't always the case (happy that she trusts me, not happy that she doesn't always have it together. Geesh! What kind of a person do you think I am?). Anyway, I find that I compare my life to hers and that gets me feeling sorry for myself - which leads me to my next confession:

3. Ingratitude - There is not enough room in cyber-space for me to tell you all the ways in which God has blessed my life. But is this what I concentrate on? Is this where I choose to focus my thoughts? No. I'm a walking, talking, living, grown-up spoiled child! What happened to me? I never used to be like this! In fact, I used to have such a bubbly, giddy personality that I have, on more than one occasion, been accused of being drunk even though not a drop of alcohol was in my system. You simply cannot be that happy without be grateful. I think I need to investigate this further. Stay tuned.

4. Gluttony - Or shall we say - oink! oink! oink! I've been taking an appetite suppressant to deal with my inability to control my hands from continuously putting food in my mouth against my will. They are working great! But, even though, I do try to eat normal amounts of food, I am still battling with junk food. Why is putting chocolate in my mouth soooooo much easier than putting veggies in my mouth? I had a bit of a wake-up call last night when I pulled my fresh-from-the-dryer jeans on and ripped out one of the belt-loops. Now there's a great ego boost!

Well, there's more, but neither one of us have all day. I was watching Joyce Meyer awhile back and she was talking about overcoming bad habits. She talked about how if you can't seem to change your feelings about something, you CAN change your behavior. You have to say to yourself, "I will behave my way out of this". I always planned on printing that out and posting it on my refrigerator. Funnily enough, I've never gotten around to it. See #1.

Well, if you'll excuse me now - I need my computer to print something out. Maybe I can use the outside of my fridge to keep me from the inside! Wish me luck! Pray for me!

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