When I was 22, I was terribly upset one evening because some guy (I can't even remember who) had broken my heart. This was, like, the 147th time my heart had been broken (at least it felt that way). I was so tired of dating jerks. I KNEW I had something good to offer and couldn't figure out why no one could see that.
That night, I broke down and cried my eyes out to God. I said I was sick of being my own match-maker and I wanted Him to do it. I literally said, "I done! You do it!" I told God that I knew He had someone picked out just for me and that I felt He was just waiting on ME not the other way around. I knew I had to get mentally and emotionally healthy before God introduced me to my soulmate. Up to this point, I had terrible insecurities and low self-esteem.
I had decided that I was going to take a year off from dating. I would not accept any dates from anyone. I needed a break. I said to God, "I know you will make it clear to me who he is when I meet him". I prayed this because I didn't want to turn down a date and then worry that I had just turned down "the one". That would've been defeating the purpose of my year off.
I also had a list of things I was looking for in a guy and I literally gave God the list. I wanted him to be tall, dark and handsome. I wanted him to have a sense of humor and love animals. I wanted him to have either a rugged "manly" job or rugged hobbies. I wanted him to be the type of guy that was always looking to improve himself in some way, either physically, intellectually, financially or spiritually. I "put my order" in to God that night.
I took the year off and it was WONDERFUL. So freeing! It was such a release to come home and NOT worry if there were messages on my machine or if some guy called. I spent more time with family, friends and myself. I learned how to be independent and my confidence soared! I had so much fun the first year, that I decided to go for year two.
About 4 months into year two, I was at work one morning when I saw two guys walk out of the employee lounge. I couldn't even make out his face but suddenly it came upon me - this overwhelming feeling of "that's him!". I frantically starting hitting the shoulder of the guy next to me saying, "Who's that guy? Who's that guy?" He told me his name and I knew I would be marrying him. I still hadn't even really seen his face. I swear, it was just like in the movies - it was like everything darkened around me and a spotlight shown on him. I like to joke that I even heard music! I knew God would make it clear to me and He did!
After MUCH flirting for a few weeks, we finally had our first date. It was wonderful! The next day, I was at my brother's house and my SIL asked what I had done the night before. I said, "I went on a date with the guy I'm going to marry".
Last Thursday we marked our 10 yr anniversary!
The list I gave to God? He hit every one! Paul is tall, dark and handsome. He has a fabulous sense of humor, loves animals and has "rugged" hobbies (shooting, four-wheeling, flying). He is always trying to improve his mind, always wanting to learn more. Right now, he's out riding his bike to improve his health.
We have our troubles just like any marriage but it's comforting to know that no matter what, we will be together. He may not be God's gift to women but he's definitely God's gift to me! This is my example to people that you can pray specifically and God will answer your prayer. You have to be willing to do your part, too, though - as I had to do.
Everybody say, "Awwwww"
Sunday, October 21, 2007
The story I can't wait to tell my children.
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4 comments:
Hi Amanda. I never realized that you were such an incredible writer. You are one of my best friends and it's interesing to hear (read) your other thoughts. You are an incredible woman no matter what verb you want to put before it (wife, christian, mom etc.). I love you to death.
I too did not know you were such a great writer! Maybe it is the subject content that you find so inspiring. Thank you for your insights on marriage, and for your encouragement on keeping mine together.
Much love. Andrea
Great post! If you don't mind, I'm going to tell that one to my daughter when she's older too!
That is fabulous! I loved being able to go back and read that.
Just yesterday a friend and I were talking about being SPECIFIC in our prayers. It really makes a difference.
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