Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Road Rage

Well, yesterday things got a bit ugly. Okay, not things. I got a bit ugly. I was on my way to the ped's office with my sick kids. I get on the freeway, and as I like to do, I scooted on over to the left lane where I belong (I have a tad bit heavy, malleable poor metal in my right foot). That's when this jerk...ahem...gentleman in the right lane swerves across two lanes, plops himself directly in front of me and proceeds to drop in speed by about 20 mph.

Ugh. Okay, dude, whatever. That's not enough to rile me up. I'll just "happily" go around you. So I swing over to the middle lane and begin to pass Mr. Traffic Control when he then speeds up considerably and blocks me in between him and the car in front of me that I've now caught up to. Okaaaaay, NOW I'm riled!

I seriously do not get people like this. Who are you and what did I ever do to you? People who feel it's either their job or their right to randomly pick out others on the road just to mess with really set my rage meter over the top! I'm just trying to get my kid's to their appointment. Is that a problem?

I'm pissed! My blood is boiling and any drop of patience I had left in me have I spit out. Right then, the car pool lane opens up and I swing around to the left full force and hit my accelerator. Dude doesn't even try this time (ahh, wising up are we?) and that's when I did it. Something I have not done in YEARS! I don't know where it came from but before I knew it, there it was...

the Bird.

Yeppers. I flipped him the bird. And, ya know what? He didn't even look over at me! Now THAT'S infuriating! What good is flipping the bird if the recipient doesn't even see it! That's a wasted bird! Again, this is not something I do with any amount of regularity so to have one wasted is not something I appreciate! I would've saved it for someone who would at least have the decency to look my way!

At this point, I am several car lengths ahead when I realize that God has decided to call shotgun. Okay, He's been there all along since He never really goes away. It's just that NOW I'm aware of His presence. So, naturally, I want to put on my fig leaf and go hide in a bush somewhere.

Ahem .

"I know. I know" I say. "I shouldn't have done that."

Let go of that anger.

"NO! I WANT to be angry. I have the right to be angry. Didn't you see what he did? Kirby is crying in the back. London is driving me crazy with her non-stop talking. I couldn't help it!"

Excuses. Excuses .

"I'm driving along, minding my own business. Why do these people feel they have the right to treat others this way?"

Life is not always fair.

Rarely does one win an argument with God, so I give up. I didn't say I gave in. I just stopped talking. God didn't get out of the car though. Seems to me, He can handle the silent treatment just fine.

My exit was just a couple miles down the road and by the time I pulled off the freeway, my heartrate was back to normal and, without my actively trying to rid myself of it, the anger was gone. I think that, maybe, God wasn't so much concerned about what I did to that other driver as He was concerned about what I was doing to myself. He didn't speak to me about my actions, He spoke to me about my anger.

This seems to be an ongoing conversation between Him and I. Anger is a huge issue for me. It comes out of nowhere but comes in full force. And, it seems, that the smaller that "last straw" is the more likely it is to break this camel's back. God has been working on me though and I can say, in all honesty, He's making some headway .

I'm not where I want to be but I'm not where I used to be, either. Praise God.

And, as for the bird, well...I'll be keeping that little guy caged from now on.


DH said...

If we are not going to improve ourselves, what use have we for tomorrow? I am proud of you and I love you.

Madame Queen said...

I deal with anger, usually coming from impatience, too. The best we can do is to always strive to be better. :)

Laurel said...

That's kind a funny. Once when we had the missionaries over for dinner, Logan got in her toy car and yelled, "Come on, people! Drive!" I don't know where she gets these things.

Melissa said...

I skipped on over from Laurels blog. What a great post - I laughed out loud. In situations like that I feel like I have those convesations too. Way to cage the bird!

ekb said...

Thanks for the comment!

A friend on mine picked me up for something once, and I noticed she had pictures of Christ all over in her car (seriously, like four or five of them). When I said, "Hey, what's the deal with all the Christ pictures?" she looked at me, blushed, and said, "I have a problem with road rage. I'm working on it. It's not working very well." See? You're not alone.

Lisa-Marie said...

I love your honesty. I appreciate your example. It is so nice to know that we are NEVER alone. (Even when we wish we were sometimes. We've all had those days!)