The Dead-Dog Image

The Dead-Dog Image is something that resonates with me. I'm happy to say, however, not nearly as much as it used to.

When my husband first met me, he was amused yet astounded at not just my reluctance to talk to employees at a retail store but my absolute refusal to do so. I would gladly walk up and down the aisles looking for whatever it was I needed before ever asking an employee for help. I didn't want to "bother" them. I thought I was being an inconvenience to them. A nuisance. I didn't see myself as having the right to their assistance that simply being a customer entitles you to. I didn't deserve their help.

Where this notion came from, I have no idea. I do know that over the years I've come to realize that I just don't do well speaking to people I don't know. What's funny is that I worked in retail most of my life. Apparently, I was into self-torture as well.

Most of that has changed now. Glory be to God! I can pinpoint exactly when I was thrust into overcoming this fear of speaking to strangers. It was very soon after my baby girl was born.

You see, London was born with A LOT of hair. Tons! Her hair literally stopped people in their tracks whether they be at the grocery store, mall, park, restaurant, bank - you name it. They had to stop and comment and ask to touch her little head. Then each and everyone of them were compelled to tell me about their baby/grandbaby/niece/nephew/child down the road who either did or didn't have hair like my little girl.

Of course, this meant that I had to talk to these complete strangers! Not an outing went by where I wasn't thrust into a conversation with someone. I remember many, many times I'd be in the grocery store, London secure in her brightly-colored, padded grocery cart cover when we'd round the corner down the cereal aisle and there they would be. That cute elderly couple you just knew had grandchildren of their own. And the Sybil-esque voice would start in my head, "The people! The people! The people!"

Inevitably, they'd spot her out-of-control curly tresses, smile and make a bee-line for the mom who they were sure wanted to talk endlessly about them. *sigh*

This happened so often that, without my even realizing it, I came out of my shell. Now, you'd be hard pressed to shut me up!

It's funny to me how God works sometimes. I never once prayed for help in this area of my life yet God saw a need, an area that needed growth and without so much as a word to me (because I'm sure I would've protested) He began His work on it.

I enjoy talking to people I don't know so much now that I sometimes go out of my way to do so. I'll happily discuss my children but even more happily discuss yours. Or whatever else is important to you.

And if you work in a retail store, you can bet your bottom dollar, I'll be asking for your help!

The Dead-Dog Image has died in this girl!

So Sorry...

I am running behind! I have not forgotten my blog or my valued blog readers! I'm just up to my bunny ears is "stuff" to do.

I promise to be back a.s.a.p or as soon as I get a minute to myself.

Of course, if I do get a minute to myself this blog may just lose out to a much needed nap instead!

Stay tuned!

Meyer Monday

The Dead-Dog Image

Mephibosheth was the grandson of Kind Saul and the son of Jonathon, who had been a close covenant friend to David. Crippled as a youth, Mephibosheth had a poor self-image, a dead-dog image. Instead of seeing himself as the rightful heir to his father's and grandfather's legacy, he saw himself as someone who would be rejected.

When David sent for Mephiboseth, he fell down before the king and displayed fear. David told him not to fear, that he intended to show him kindness. Mephibosheth's response is an important example of the kind of poor self-image we all need to overcome.

A poor self-image causes us to operate in fear instead of faith. We look at what is wrong with us instead of what is right with Jesus. He has taken our wrongness and given us His righteousness (2 Corinthians 5:21). We need to walk in the reality of that truth.

I love the end of the story. David blessed Mephibosheth for Jonathon's sake. He gave him servants and land and provided for all of his needs.

I relate Mephibosheth's lameness to our own weakness. We may also fellowship and eat with our King Jesus - despite our faults and weaknesses.

~ Joyce Meyer, Being The Person God Made You To Be

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And Mephibosheth son of Jonathan, the son of Saul, came to David and fell on his face and did obeisance. David said, Mephibosheth! And he answered, Behold your servant!

David said to him, Fear not, for I will surely show you kindness for Jonathon your father's sake, and will restore to you all the land of Saul your father [grandfather], and you shall eat at my table always.

And [the cripple] bowed himself and said, What is your servant, that you should look upon such a dead dog as I am? ~ Samuel 9:6-8

Super Savings Saturday

My shopping extravaganza for the week:


First CVS:

I can't remember the details of everything, except that I got all of the above for a little over $12.00 OOP with $5.00 ECB's back. Not bad, not bad. I'm not hitting CVS like I used to these days. I did so stinkin' well the first few months that I'm completely stocked up on just about everything. So now I just keep an eye out for diapers, detergent and the occassional make-up steal. Like this one: I had swiped my CVS card in their coupon machine thinga-ma-bob and got a $3.00 off any Revlon cosmetic. I knew I had a $2.00 manufacturer coupon at home so I ran back to the house (I live all of 3 minutes from my CVS store) and grabbed it. CVS was having a B1G1 Free sale on Revlon products, combine that with my $5.00 in coupons and I got the above for .99 cents!

Now it's Walgreen's turn:They had several back-to-school items on sale this past week. Everything except the mini composition books (.5 cents ea.) and the paper clips (.19 cents each) is available for a full rebate. The really good news is that I paid for everything with my Walgreen's gift card that has all my other rebate money on it. I get a kick out of the fact that I'm just reusing the same money over and over again to buy new stuff!


Now for Walmart:
I'd just like to take a moment and thank Crystal over at MoneySavingMom.com for all the hard work she does so I don't have to! All I did with the above purchase was follow her directions on this post , clipped my coupons and off I went. I got everything above for $5.78. Here's what I did:


Kotex pantyliners - $1.00 minus $1.00 coupon = Free!
Johnson's Baby Shampoo - $2.12 minus $1.00 coupon = $1.12
(2) Huggies Clean Sweep - $5.46 minus $3.00 coupon = $2.46
(2) Muir Glen Tomatos - $2.48 minus $2.00 coupons = $.48 cents
(2) Tava 4 packs - $3.96 minus $3.00 coupons = $. 96 cents
(2) Bic Pens 10 pks - $1.76 minus $1.00 coupon = $.76 cents.


All total I saved $11.00 at Walmart thanks to Crystal! I've seen others make a much better killing than that but I'm a newbie at working the Walmart deals so I'm cutting myself a little slack. Not a bad start, though.

Check out MoneySavingMom.com for more great deals!

A Truth About Me Part IV

With the first wall around my heart successfully built after deciding to close out friends, old & new, it was time to start construction on the second wall. This would come all too easily in 2001 when my dad died suddenly from pancreatic cancer.

I say "suddenly" because from the time of diagnosis to the time of death was nine days. Something had been terribly wrong with my dad's health for months but having that "pull yourself up from your bootstraps and shove on" mentality, Dad wasn't in all that of a rush to find out what it was. The cancer would have gotten him anyway. Pancreatic cancer is a losing battle. It's as painfully simple as that. I don't know if the extra time of knowing would have done any good. It would have just caused people to fuss over him and being fussed over was not something Dad was terribly interested in.

I handled my dad's death like a pro. Spoke clearly at his memorial without so much as a quiver and pulled my own self up by the bootstraps and shoved on! The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree, ya know.

I came to understand that their are five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Denial I could totally relate to seeing that is was pretty dang close to daydreaming and, since I consider myself a professional daydreamer, I jumped right in.

Being the impatient person that I am, I had no time for the three stages in the middle so I jumped ahead to acceptance. I saw no reason to even consider the other three since acceptance was where I was going to end up anyway, why not just get there sooner rather than later, right?

I had a simple plan: Anytime I felt myself even coming close to the other three or, heck, any kind of emotion resembling grief in any way, I would jump right back to denial since I was so good at it anyway. Besides, pretending is fun & easy. Why not do it in place of actually working through your emotions and heal from your grief? Phffftttthhh!!!!

Remember the movie Finding Nemo? Of course you do, it wasn't that long ago! Anyway, there's this scene where Dory and Marlin, after getting directions from the school of fish, are supposed to swim through the trench, not over it. Marlin decides that swimming through the trench looks dark and foreboding. He's scared to go through the trench (we all are). So he decides to do what looks easiest and that is, swim over it. Well, it turns out that swimming over it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Sure, it started out fun but Dory and Marlin end up in worse trouble, more painful trouble, than they ever imagined. Trouble that nearly cost them dearly. Take it from me, you need to swim through the trench!

Oh, for heaven's sake! The jellyfish! Remember? The jellyfish, people! Remember? Dory almost died! It was not that long ago!

Anyway, back to my simple plan. The problem with it was that it was nearly impossible to NOT come close to those other emotions whenever I was around my brothers. I didn't want to avoid them, especially at this difficult time but I absolutely, positively, for my own "safety" (there's that word again) could NOT speak to them about the death of our dad. Do you know that NOT ONCE did I call my brothers afterwards and ask them how they were doing? Not once.

What? No nomination for Sister of the Year? Come on!

I just couldn't do it. I could not take on the pain and sorrow of my brothers'. Not for even one small phone call. I couldn't deal with my own. How could I deal with theirs? The truth of the matter is, when we help to carry each others burdens, we end up with less of our own to carry. I didn't know that at the time, and thus went up the second wall around my heart closing out my family.

As long as I kept my family at bay, I could continue mistakenly believing that I had accepted my dad's death and shove any emotions proving otherwise deeper down into my soul. And now that I had successfully barricaded my friends and my family from my heart, there was only one more person to go...


To be continued...

Godly Self-Love

Joyce writes: We all need to ask ourselves what we are doing with the love of God that has been freely given to us.

I think this is an excellent question. What are you doing with it? What am I doing with it? Am I passing it on to others around me? Well, yes, sometimes.

But mostly, no.

Don't get me wrong - generally, I'm a nice person. I'm friendly to others, helpful & cheery but am I loving others the way God loves me? I've heard Joyce say before that we are not reservoirs of God's love, but channels. We shouldn't be storing it all up for ourselves but, instead, God's love should be flowing through and out of us.

I've also heard it said that we can't really love others until we first love ourselves. Am I loving myself the way God loves me? Well, yes, sometimes.

But mostly, no.

But I do love myself a heck of a lot more than I used to before putting God in the lead role of my life. I still fight the demons of self-doubt, self-criticism and negative thinking but many of those demons have given up the fight now that they see I have the power of God on my side and I'm not giving up. I have a long way to go but I'm getting there.

One thing I like to remind myself of is the fact that God is never wrong. God says I'm beautiful. God says I'm worthy. God says I'm good enough and God says I am made right through Christ. To say anything different about myself would, in every sense, be arguing with God. Now I don't know about you but I hate to lose an argument so I just try to remind myself that, when it comes to me, God is right and I just need to accept it.

I need to accept the fact that I'm worthy of God's love and that God sees me as worth loving. Once I fully accept that (sometimes it's hard to wrap my brain around the infinite depth of His love), then I will be able to really pour that love out of me and into the hearts of others.

What about you? Have you fully accepted the love God has for you?

Meyer Monday

The Bible teaches us that the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us. That simply means that when the Lord, in the person of the Holy Spirit, comes to dwell in our heart because of our faith in His Son Jesus Christ, He brings love with Him, because God is love (1 John 4:8).

We all need to ask ourselves what we are doing with the love of God that has been freely given to us. Are we rejecting it because we don't think we are valuable enough to be loved? Do we believe God is like other people who have rejected and hurt us? Or are we receiving His love by faith, believing that He is greater than our failures and weaknesses?

We should love ourselves - not in a selfish, self-centered way that produces a lifestyle of self-indulgence, but in a balanced, godly way, a way that simply affirms God's creation as essentially good and right.

God's plan is this: He wants us to receive His love, love ourselves in a godly way, generously love Him in return, and finally love all the people who come into our lives.

~ Joyce Meyer, Being The Person God Made You To Be.

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...God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us. ~ Romans 5:5