Sunday, June 29, 2008

A Truth About Me. Part I

As I said in a previous post, I discovered a few truths about me 'round-about this time last year.

I told you that one of those truths included M&M candies, Nicole Kidman, Oprah and Jack Nicholson in The Shining. Makes for an odd picture, wouldn't you say? Allow me to put the pieces together for you (this may take awhile).

The start of the summer of 2007 found me with a new baby boy who struggled to nurse and a three-year-old who was set to potty-train. For you experienced mothers or non-OCD/control freak types, this is not enough to put you in a tizzy. For me, a slightly OCD/control freak type (albeit a charming one), it was tizzy-city!

I was in a strange, post-partum, sleep-deprived, unshowered, tizzy-city haze when I made the brilliant decision to go on a diet at this time. Not just any diet. No, not me. I decided I'd go on one of those ill-conceived, no-plan, change it from day to day, no formal guidelines, willy-nilly type of diets. And do you know, for some strange reason, it just didn't work? Go figure.

Did I mention I was in a strange, post-partum, sleep-deprived, unshowered, tizzy-city haze?

At the same time, I was in the beginning stages of potty-training my daughter. I'll just get it out in the open right now: I whole-heartily believe and support the act of bribing a child to pee in the potty. Whatever gets the pee in the potty, people! Use it!

And my brilliant dieting-self was bribing her with chocolate M&M's. A bought the biggest bag I could find at Wal-mart and swore that they were just for use as a potty-training reward. I figured one big bag was enough to see us through. I re-filled that bad no less than three times. Not because my daughter was pee'ing on the potty 67 times a day but because Mommy has some deep-rooted chocolate issues.

Oh, and I stress eat.

Imagine Jack Nicholson's character in The Shining with a bag of M&M's and no typewriter to bang his frustrations out on or ghost bartender to pour his heart out to. He would tear up that bag of chocolaty goodness! And tear it up (no less than three times) is exactly what I did.

All the while, wondering why on earth I was struggling to stay on a diet and lose weight.

You see, I have never had a problem sticking to a diet (a well-planned one with guidelines) for several months. I almost always saw success with my diet plans but this time around I could not get past even two or three days. I could not figure it out.

That's when an Oprah episode knocked me upside the head and I made a startling revelation about myself.

To be continued...


Jen said...

I applaud your courage, and believe that God is using you and your story to make a difference.

A Fellow Choco-holic who tends to get into tizzies easily

Laurel said...

If every mother hasn't been there, I will eat my own arm. Life is such a roller coaster! Can't wait to see you Friday. I'm going to hug you right back!

Sarah Mae said...

Well I'm waiting for the rest! Come on!

Oh, and I did the M & M thing too -I'm so with you on the bribing thing (and I ate most of the M & M's myself as well!)