Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Things I Do When No One is Around. Installment #1

I have decided to bare my most sinful self. Not all at once, mind you. Sorry, didn't mean to get you all excited. No, this is the beginning of a once a month "confessional" where I tell you, my dear, sweet anonymous blog readers whom I'm not obligated to see on a daily basis, about the things I do when no one is looking.

Well, except my kids, who are too young still to understand the levels of my bizarre behavior and my husband, who...well, um...you know...has seen me naked, so how much worse could it get for him. Ya know?

So once a month, I am putting myself out there...going out on a limb...putting my neck on the line...pushing the envelope...playing for all the marbles...

um, I ran out of tired & over-used cliches. Anyway...

I do this for you so that you may read my dirty little secrets and say, "Whew! She does it too! NOW I can sleep at night!"

So, are you ready? Are you sure? 'Cause if you're not sure, we can do this some other time. Really, it's no big deal. Oh, I see. You're ready. Well, then, here we go:

read People Magazine.

There. It's out. Okay, that wasn't so scary. I can handle this. Yes, I know, it comes as a bit of a shock to you, I'm sure, those of you who are used to seeing me with my head buried in The Wall Street Journal or Psychology Today or Super-Smart People Monthly but let's keep things in perspective, shall we? I mean, it's not like I ever visit www.perezhilton.com or anything. Nope, not once. Or even www.tmz.com for that matter.


Yes, I like to curl up from time to time with the leading trash mag. So what? Got something to say 'bout it?

Yeah, didn't think so. It's not like I'm ignoring my children for the splendor of the gossip rag.


No, I just pick it up from time to time when the mood strikes me, I'm feeling bored or Britney's on the cover. And when is girlfriend going to get some help, anyway?

So there you have it. The first in a long line of confessions that will surely make your cheeks blush, your lips quiver and your eyes roll. And while I want you to keep an eye out for installment #2, please don't hold your breath. This is only a once a month treat, remember.


Madame Queen said...


I used to have a SUBSCRIPTION to People. But now, actually, I prefer the much trashier (in my opinon) Us Weekly. I once had a friend who called it U.S. Weekly because she said it made her feel more important!

Lisa-Marie said...

My confession is that I DID think that Us weekly WAS U.S. Weekly. I'm so slow. and unhip. and lame. Oh well.

And I LOVE it when the doctor's office has PEOPLE magazine. I kinda wanna put it inside TIME or something so I look a bit more sophisticated but what ever!!!!!

Laurel said...

I'm a closet US reader too, although without a subscription because...well...that's what being in the closet is all about, right? Hey, look! I'm obligated to keep up on all the important world events**coughcough**right?