The Boomerang Effect, Parenting Style

Some of you don't need to read anything further. You know exactly what I'm talking about. It's when you JUST TOLD your kids not to do something and then, lo and behold, you do the exact same thing. I don't mean smoking, running out into the street or pushing your baby brother down (how many times a day, London? Seriously?). No. I'm talking about, well, I'm talking about this:

Yesterday, we were running a bit late for church. And if any of you know me, you know that I HATE being late for anything! I had already told London once to get her shoes on. I had Kirby in my arms and I'm ready (finally) to head out the door when I realize London STILL does not have her shoes on. "London! Get your shoes on! Now"!

Well, you'd think that would be easy, but, nooooooooo. She can't have just any pair of shoes. She simply MUST have her pink, sparkly ballerina shoes! I must admit, they are pretty, but being pretty and being where they are supposed to be are two different things. And they are NOT where they are supposed to be. She has no idea where they are and I'm not about to go hunting for them.

Her eyes are turning pink and glossy. She just cannot go without them. "Oh, yes, child. You can and you WILL! We are late!"

Then comes the stern, drawn-out lecture about how this wouldn't happen if she put her shoes back where they belong! She is told this daily. Why? Because, she's three and she can't remember stuff like this. It's normal but when I'm running late, my expectations are not normal.

I mean, honestly, evil-when-running-late-Mommy, chill on the expectations a bit, won't you?

She is handed her other pink, sparkly shoes and, though she is not happy about this, she agrees to get into the car. Off we go and everything is fine and dandy for the rest of the day. Until later that evening, when...

Mommy can't find her OWN pair of shoes!

I'm sorry. What?

I couldn't find my own shoes.

Sorry, didn't get that.

I said, I couldn't find my own shoes!

There, happy now?

Yes, that's right. I looked and I looked and I looked for my flips that I wear daily around the house. I looked upstairs, then downstairs, then upstairs again, then downstairs again, once more upstairs, last time around downstairs. After a good 15 minutes of searching every-freaking-where, I finally found them. Where were they?

NOT where they were supposed to be. And there you have it, people: The Boomerang Effect. When the "stuff" you throw at someone else comes right back at ya!

Postage Paid

A selection of childrens' letters to God. Too cute for words!

Little Miss Ingrate

When I was in junior high, I had a friend who was a middle child. She always complained to her parents that her older sister had all the privileges and that her younger sister got away with everything. Apparently, to her mother, she didn't appreciate anything she had so her mom nicknamed her "Little Miss Ingrate".

Anyone could have called me that yesterday.

I told God I didn't appreciate the gift He had given me that day. I told him it wasn't good enough for me. Actually, I told Him I HATED it! Can you imagine? God hands you a gift, beautifully wrapped with a bright, sunny-yellow bow tied around it. You open it up to find that it's not exactly the gift you had hoped for, so you stick out your lip, stomp your foot on the ground, whine, "It's nooooot whaaaaaat I waaaaaanted" and smash it to the ground at His feet.

Who would do that? Seriously? Well, ME, apparently.

What was the gift God gave me? The day. A brand new, never-been-used-before day. A clean slate. A fresh start. A Mulligan, if you will. A whole 24 hrs to do with whatever I chose. I chose to fill it up with impatience, irritation, frustration and general pissy-ness. At the height of it, when 2 or 3 things went all wrong (read: not my way) at once, I blew up and shouted, "GOD, I HATE THIS DAY"!

Yep. Yesterday was not one of my best days. Not one of my worst, but still.

"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

I see this everywhere. On keychains, pillows, plaques, picture frames, greeting cards, bumper stickers - you get the picture. I see it so often, that I no longer actually read it. I start to, but then I think, "Oh yeah. I know that one" and then move on. But do I really know it? Do I know it in my heart?

Not really. I don't start each morning thanking God for the day. And, why not? I always thank someone whenever they give me something. Especially, something they didn't have to give me. And God certainly doesn't have to give me a new day if He doesn't want to. Just check the obituary section of the daily newspaper. He doesn't give one to everyone, you know!

So, this is something I really need to work on. I can't tell you how many times I've described my day as "crappy", "frustrating", "not worth a hill of beans" or "can't wait for it to be over". I wonder if it breaks God's heart a little everytime I say that. I know I've given gifts that were ill received. It hurts to know that your time, effort and thoughtfulness go unappreciated. But I'm not just unappreciative of God's thoughtfulness, I actually insult it with my derogatory remarks towards His gift of a new day. That needs to stop. Really.

Chances look pretty good for me that God will wrap up another day, tie it with a sunny-yellow bow and set it outside my door and wait for me to open it first thing in the morning. He's pretty faithful like that. In our relationship, it seems, He's always the giver and I'm always the receiver. Well, tomorrow, that is going to change a bit. I'M going to give! Give thanks, that is. Each day is a gift, but the funny thing about this gift is, even though He gives it, I get to fill it with whatever I want.

I hope I can remember to fill it with much rejoicing. If not, God will remind me somehow. He's pretty faithful like that, too.

Thankfully.

I need a caption for this picture!

Please, write a caption for this pic of my son, Kirby, and post it in "comments". Whoever has the cutest and cleverist caption will receive a $10 gift card to Starbucks!

Tennis, Anyone?

This post was inspired by my good friend, Andrea, who played tennis back in high school and, just recently, provided for me the picture of committing oneself to the game.

There is a Phil Collins song, “Something Happened on the Way to Heaven” that has stuck with me over the years. Phil is singing to his love. He’s made a terrible mistake but wants to make amends. He doesn't want to lose her. In it, he sings, “We've had our problems but I'm on your side”. It’s one of those lines that is unexpectedly profound yet the meaning is so simple. So simple, in fact, that I think most people miss it.

I’m preaching to myself here, by the way.

I think, those of us in marriages, when conflict comes between us, we tend to get caught up in the “His side/Her side” of it. I know I do. I forget that Paul and I are on the same team. We are fighting the same opponent and we have the same goal: a happy, successful marriage. It’s kind of like playing tennis, really.

Yeah, that’s right - tennis. Here’s where insomnia comes in handy. This little gem was handed to me around 4:30 the other morning when I couldn't sleep:

Here, we have a tennis court:

You and your spouse team up on one side - this half of the court represents your marriage. Everything that will try to penetrate the inside court of your marriage: dishonesty, financial difficulties, temptation, infidelity, disrespect, resentment, inattention, ingratitude, etc., take up camp on the other side. Each team member guards his/her side of the court, sometimes alternating front to back. When the enemy lobs a threat over the net, sometimes the husband rushes forward to smack it back, declaring ,“This one’s mine. I’ll make it right”. Sometimes, it’s the wife who returns the fire, shouting, “I’ll handle this one“! And, just as in any successful, well-matched team, the two players never cross each other. They work in unison, united together in one common goal: never let the other side win.

The threats may come hard and fast, but when the team is adequately suited up with the proper equipment - trust, respect, kindness, commitment, loyalty and, above all, God as their captain - those threats are returned with a full swing. It’s difficult, sometimes to remember, when caught up in the day-to-day struggles and our own desires, that we are on the same team.

"Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, "Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand". ~ Matthew 12:25

And, don’t forget, in tennis, as in marriage, when the other side scores zero - that’s LOVE!

Awesome Video!

The story I can't wait to tell my children.

When I was 22, I was terribly upset one evening because some guy (I can't even remember who) had broken my heart. This was, like, the 147th time my heart had been broken (at least it felt that way). I was so tired of dating jerks. I KNEW I had something good to offer and couldn't figure out why no one could see that.

That night, I broke down and cried my eyes out to God. I said I was sick of being my own match-maker and I wanted Him to do it. I literally said, "I done! You do it!" I told God that I knew He had someone picked out just for me and that I felt He was just waiting on ME not the other way around. I knew I had to get mentally and emotionally healthy before God introduced me to my soulmate. Up to this point, I had terrible insecurities and low self-esteem.

I had decided that I was going to take a year off from dating. I would not accept any dates from anyone. I needed a break. I said to God, "I know you will make it clear to me who he is when I meet him". I prayed this because I didn't want to turn down a date and then worry that I had just turned down "the one". That would've been defeating the purpose of my year off.

I also had a list of things I was looking for in a guy and I literally gave God the list. I wanted him to be tall, dark and handsome. I wanted him to have a sense of humor and love animals. I wanted him to have either a rugged "manly" job or rugged hobbies. I wanted him to be the type of guy that was always looking to improve himself in some way, either physically, intellectually, financially or spiritually. I "put my order" in to God that night.

I took the year off and it was WONDERFUL. So freeing! It was such a release to come home and NOT worry if there were messages on my machine or if some guy called. I spent more time with family, friends and myself. I learned how to be independent and my confidence soared! I had so much fun the first year, that I decided to go for year two.

About 4 months into year two, I was at work one morning when I saw two guys walk out of the employee lounge. I couldn't even make out his face but suddenly it came upon me - this overwhelming feeling of "that's him!". I frantically starting hitting the shoulder of the guy next to me saying, "Who's that guy? Who's that guy?" He told me his name and I knew I would be marrying him. I still hadn't even really seen his face. I swear, it was just like in the movies - it was like everything darkened around me and a spotlight shown on him. I like to joke that I even heard music! I knew God would make it clear to me and He did!

After MUCH flirting for a few weeks, we finally had our first date. It was wonderful! The next day, I was at my brother's house and my SIL asked what I had done the night before. I said, "I went on a date with the guy I'm going to marry".

Last Thursday we marked our 10 yr anniversary!

The list I gave to God? He hit every one! Paul is tall, dark and handsome. He has a fabulous sense of humor, loves animals and has "rugged" hobbies (shooting, four-wheeling, flying). He is always trying to improve his mind, always wanting to learn more. Right now, he's out riding his bike to improve his health.

We have our troubles just like any marriage but it's comforting to know that no matter what, we will be together. He may not be God's gift to women but he's definitely God's gift to me! This is my example to people that you can pray specifically and God will answer your prayer. You have to be willing to do your part, too, though - as I had to do.

Everybody say, "Awwwww"